i was gone, nobody noticed, now im back, and nobody gives...the video will be posted, when i get back. Back where you might ask? back home. home where? at gramams house...where are you now? munich. why? doing stuff...what stuff? uni shit. oh ok...ya man...cool...im out now...aight...tty soon? ya soon. how soon? idk, soon...ok :) cya...cya :)...
bitch
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your fish was still here.
ReplyDeleteYou're wrong. I was wondering why you disappeared from one day to the next and why you stopped commenting and writing. I also already knew you were doing Uni stuff in Munich. I'd bet you were listening to "weird fishes" when you wrote this post. Right?
Anyhow, I also feel like you. I'm agonizing at the scraps of presence that we leave behind with the "cool mans" "im out nows" "peace bros" "cyas." We're not present, we're never present. We're miles apart. How helpless we become when the body and mind, the benji, in which we invest our entire lives to is gone, separate from dani, in some other place. Our words at times seem to mean absolutely nothing. Like they were forcefully said. As if they were the ONLY thing we had left to let each other know that we still exist, in a casual, mundane way that won't cause these dwrawn out breakdowns.
We get tired of dealing with a virtual Dani, who lives and exists somewhere else, at some German city name I probably forgot, who I only know through some basic blog, messages and scarce phone calls. I begin to feel like i dont know him, and don't get enough of him. I feel like my scraps don't even reach him, because I never know where he is. Like my scraps aren't worth it, and i just give in to the mystery of your non-presence. woops1, buh, dbatliner, Daniel Von Batliner. I'd rather just talk with dani.
This is the painful death that this form of talking with those close undergoes every time you get that feeling. Communicating while in different places. What a blatant contradiction.
Dani,
ReplyDeleteI confess, I didn't realize you were gone, didn't know what you were doing and usually don't. But I do care. I know that some sporadic contact is better than none at all. I know that having the virtual Dani, Benji, Vale, Zenon, Calvin etc is better than not hearing you exist. It's that contact I yearn for.
I talked to Vale one night for about an hour and a half. The next day, I smiled at the oddest times because I realized a great friend was doing fine. I now know what her room looks like (sort of) that her hair is longer and that college isn't what she expected. But where would I be without that contact?
Where would I be with out the "what's ups" and 2 lines of info. Maybe that's all we should say. "i'm fine, alive and kicking. Miss you, Love you." But i want to feel closer to you. and if that means communicating once in a while to make me feel closer so be it.
So Dani, 5 days is a short time, we love you and miss you. Never doubt that. I cherish the times together and hope someday either one of us will make it to the other one. And share another couple memories and then sail off again. Stay in touch. Because it makes us all smile!
if you leave, at least take your fish with you. He makes me sad.
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